Monday, May 14, 2012

This probably is How a Phoenix Rises From its Ashes


It was never going to be an ordinary day. Her world was falling apart. The earth beneath her feet refused to be steady and let her stand; the sky seemed to have withdrawn itself from above her head. Everything around had abandoned her, gone for a spin and then had resumed its normalcy sans her. Suddenly she had become that moment in time which lapses, and goes unnoticed. For the world, she discontinued to be; for her, there did not exist a world anymore.
Yet, she was alive.
Where was she? She could not be floating, for air refused to support her. She could not be swimming, for the seas had disowned her; and, how could she be walking or standing when the ground shirked away from her?
There was no one she could turn to. No family, no friends, no acquaintances. With no qualification to aid earning, she felt helpless. What was she going to do with this life force that was left?
It was too late to analyze where she had gone wrong or to know who, at all, was responsible for this dismal state. Disappointment had made her numb. She did not want to fight anymore. Nor did she want to love anymore. There was no feeling left. A vacuum was all that there was. Probably the numbness wasn’t allowing her to end the vacuum of her existence. Or more profound was the fear of experiencing this vacuum with greater intensity after death, which stopped her.
A broken heart, a tired body and a bruised soul – that’s what she was. And then these weird stirrings within her body! Where were they coming from? Why was her tummy churning? Why was she nauseous and restless?
Oh! Oh, Oh!
She had life forming inside her.
Now she was the universe, where a seed was germinating. She felt complete for the first time ever in her existence. This happiness made her turn and look around once again at the world. But nothing had changed. The father of the child would not own up, her own parents would be disgusted and friends had long forgotten her. There was no one to turn to or share the news with. In a way, it freed her.
Now she could have the baby. There were no shackles of social norms or emotional ties to bog her down. She moved ahead. Amidst the entire turmoil, her connection with God had severed. She felt orphaned and had been sulking while being upset with God. Today, she was thankful.
The baby had to be protected, nurtured and savored. She would do all that need be done for that.
An orphanage gave her shelter. She saw many girls moving about with their unborn babies. Some were under nourished, some a tad better. But almost all had a dismal look in their eyes. That’s not how it was going to be with her.
She was happy. She was a mother-to-be.
There were many infants around. Five minutes in a room full of innocence, and she had no grudges against anyone. Only a hope and a determination remained - to make all coming days as ordinary as possible, except for the day when the baby will be born.   

This post is part of the contest It was never going to be an ordinary day.. on WriteUpCafe.com


2 comments:

Unknown said...

Nicely written. You convey her loneliness beautifully and I'm happy there was a good ending to the story.
Best of luck for the competition.

Gayu said...

Superbbbb Ritu.

I could relate to many of the feelings, as I am a mom:) You have narrated the thoughts beautifully

All the best for the contest.
Take care
Gayu